My dear readers, last week I was driving hither and dither on the Binga expressway when lo! I spotted a beautus…hanzi “ damsel emitting a distress signal”. So I was forced to break with vigour.

The problem was her lift was now well and truly entrenched – like a politician of the Zezuru faction. There was nothing left to do or say other than to throw the chips in and lend a hand. We rigged the Mazda Hino to my trusted 4x4 by too far and pulled with passion and zeal. Alas the wheels refused and spun around ova and ova. The truck and the damsel were then abandoned to sort out their own problem. Meantime I opened another cold Bohlinger and headed off to Chizarira. Zvakaoma suwa zvesuwa.